Falling
by Rosa D'inverno
Summary: Sometimes, we have to learn to let go, before we can hold on to love. A series of short stories about love, among other things. The characters of Allison Cameron and James Wilson are used, although stories are completely AU.
1. Life and Love

Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own House, MD. I'm just using the characters cause their names sound nice.

Note- The characters in this snippet are nothing like their counterparts in House, MD.

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* * *

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_You'__d be surprised at__ what you can live with._

- Dr. James Wilson, _House MD_

Watching him from the corner of her eye, she tries to stop the telltale sign of her heartbeat increasing at the mere sight of him. She tells herself to take a deep breath and will herself to calm down, to look away. To pretend that she did not notice him, to pretend and to hide that the flush she can feel on her face came from the lack of proper air-conditioning in the room. Caught between a frown and an insane want to smile, she does not want to acknowledge whatever feelings she might have for him, and yet she cannot help but smile after seeing him. His soft brown hair, slightly mussed up, the bright brown eyes, the laugh lines that crinkle up at the sides of his eyes as he smiles, the slightly hesitant and yet always warm look in his eyes…

It is difficult. She knows it herself. It is difficult to pretend, and difficult to ignore.

She continues to talk to her companions, trying to pretend nothing has changed, that everything is all right. Nevertheless, she notices it; her words start to get a little messy and incoherent, her voice starts to shake, unnecessary hand movement comes in, and the ever slight but noticeable tensing of her shoulders as she senses him walking towards them, his voice reaching them first.

"..not sure how she'll react. It has been a few months now… "

She smiles shakily, trying not to dwell too much on the fragments of his statement, knowing that it is not good to imagine the meaning behind his words. She could feel his presence behind her, and somehow sensing the warmth radiating from him. He was with someone else, someone she does not recognize.

"Hi ladies, I hope you're enjoying your lunch? I just wanted to come over to say a quick hi and to introduce you all to Isabelle, my fellow companion." She looks up then, tries and succeeds in getting her emotions under control, and extends out her hand, smiling warmly at Isabelle before introducing herself.

After her introduction, she leaves the rest on the pretence she needed fresh air, and after smiling one last smile, she walks away.

With no aim in mind, she finds herself walking out of the café and onto the streets outside. Breathing in the air, she wraps her arms around herself, and tries unsuccessfully to stop the shaking that came over her. Walking slowly, she could feel the warm tears escaping her eyes. Emotions she has kept for so long, unnoticed, now flow unrestrained on the sides of her face.

She is unable to keep the emotions in anymore, she is tired of the pretence, sick and overwhelmed with the almost-ness of her encounters with him. There was always a chance of possibility, but never a real fulfillment between them. They are so close, and yet, still so far.

* * *

The cold, harsh wind felt almost soothing on her face, the thin scarf looped around her neck providing little protection against it. She realized, now, that she couldn't live with this. Tried as she had, she couldn't bear another moment of being so close to him, and yet never really being with him. Tried as she had, she couldn't imagine herself being just friends with him. It would be too painful, even for her. Better not to see him, than to see him with one that was not herself. She thought she could live with it, she thought she would be able to manage at least that, in order to see him. However, she realized, she could not, and did not want to do that.

Why hold on to him, even as you feel him slipping away from you? Why go through so much pain and hurt, just to catch a glimpse of him? Is it really worth it? "No. Not enough", her voice coming out as a whisper. Nevertheless, her voice gained strength, as she now knows that it really isn't enough for her. She wants a relationship, not a pining from afar. She wants him, not fragments of him. She wants to be with him, and not just around him. She want a them, not just her and him.

She is surprised at what she could live with. After living this life, she realizes that she doesn't want this life anymore. She doesn't want to put up with it anymore. She is ready to move on. Ready to move on, seeing that there is no reason nor want to keep her back, to ask her to stay.

Just as she reaches into her coat pocket to retrieve her phone, she notices footsteps behind her. She feels something, but choosing to ignore it, she prepares to call the rest of them and tell them she isn't going to go back to the café, and to help her say "_goodbye_."

"Ally?"

Dropping her phone back into her pocket, she turns around to face the occupant of the voice.

"James? What are you doing here? Where's Isabelle?" She is glad that the wind has blown dry the telltale streaks on her face by now.

He approaches closer to her, concern being evident in those eyes of his. She almost took a step back.

"Isabelle? Oh, she's waiting in the café for her fiancé to pick her up. He should be here by now." As he said that, she knew she made the right choice. She really wasn't able to go through any more hurt of seeing him with others, obsessing that they are together, especially when they turn out to be not together. She grimaces at the thought of her having that hope after she realizes after each time that he isn't with any of his so-called "companions".

She really has to move away and let it go. Let him go. Let herself go.

Then why is she moving closer to him, why is it that she cannot help but fall into his arms and allow her tears to over-whelm her again? As he holds her close to him, she could barely support herself as her sobs escape her, her tears making a mess of the front of his shirt.

It pains him to see his Ally in such a state. His Ally. Now is probably not a very good time to confess of whatever feelings he has for her. He will not add on to her already vulnerable state.

They started as colleagues, which quickly progressed to being friends. Somehow, they understood each other, knowing each other's likes and dislikes, always there to look out for each other's welfare…similar, yet so different in their characters and the way they behave. However, there came a time where they were at their closest, and suddenly, things became awkward. Neither of them was willing to confront the feelings that have arisen over the years of close fellowship, each with the fear of rejection and fear of losing the relationship they already had. So they grew distant, drifted apart…met each other less, saw more of others than of each other. Oh, what he would give just for those times again, just for her to be joyous once again.

Releasing his hold on her, he motioned for her to put on his coat that he had taken off earlier. Wiping away the tears on her face, he asked her, "What happened?"

"Jimmy, what happened to us? How did we grow apart? When did I start to lose you?"Her voice shaky, as she swiped at her eyes wearily. On impulse, she looked up into his eyes. Eyes she sought out in the crowds, eyes she had already memorized, eyes that were now filled with the one emotion she had been struggling with-a resemblance of love stared back at her. She let out a gasp she did not even know she was holding.

"James, tell me. Tell me exactly what is in your heart right now."

He didn't deserve her. He still doesn't. With his record of failed relationships, he was taken aback when Ally didn't mind and still reached out to him, treating him as an equal, never once assuming the moral high ground. He had his chance, and he blew it. What will he do now that he is given a second chance?

"Allison, you know me. You know I have never been good with relationships, and I don't think I ever will. I grew to have feelings for you, but I didn't want to risk the possibility of this one failing. I care too much about us to risk ruining what we had. I didn't know how you feel about me-Ally; I just might be really in love with you."Never once had he felt like this, not in his past relationships. He feels insecure and yet he doesn't mind it, he doesn't mind putting his heart on his sleeve, doesn't mind being seen as needy…as long as he made his feelings known, it is enough. Pride has long been forgotten.

With his eyes concentrated somewhere near the top of her head, he missed the smile that came onto her face. What he doesn't miss however, is her arms reaching forward to envelop him into an embrace. Leaning his face against the side of hers, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo that lingers in her hair, he barely hears her speak, "my dear Jimmy, I think I just might be falling in love with you too."

They stood there for a long while. Just like that. In each other's arms, they found the place where they belonged. He gave her a reason to stay, and stay she did.

Neither of them knows for sure what the future holds. As for the relationship that they share, they both know it is fragile, they both are still unsure of where it will lead them. Nevertheless, for now, it feels _right_. Right like never before. And for that, they both know that they are here to stay.


	2. Caffeine and Love

Disclaimer- House, MD still isn't mine.

A cup of caffeine chases the blues away-

_"Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee/Tea is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat." -- The New York Times, 1949_

* * *

The first time they met was at a café.

It was a café just round the corner of the road leading to the hospital. It was purely a chance meeting.

He had to purchase a drink that morning, seeing that he did not get much sleep the night before and caffeine was necessary then.

She was just there for her usual morning cuppa and breakfast.

He had dropped by this café before, a few times, but not regular enough to be familiar with its patrons.

It was her first time there. She decided to try out the café just that morning.

When one says one needs a caffeine fix, one usually thinks of coffee. However, for both of them, tea is the more preferred drink. The soothing effect tea brings, the bittersweet taste it leaves, the scalding but comforting sips of tea are exactly what they need to chase the blues away.

* * *

That day was hot lemon tea day.

"Hot lemon tea to go!"The barista hands out the cup of tea across the waiting table. Their fingers brush against each other's as they both reached for the same cup at the same time.

Apparently, it was hot lemon tea day for the both of them.

She looks up in surprise, and after seeing the awkward smile on his face, begins to smile warmly and lets go of her hold on the cup.

Just as he sees her letting go of the cup, he motions for her to take it first and insists upon waiting for the next one.

"You're a perfect gentleman I must say. It really is a pleasure to meet you; I am Allison by the way. Ally for short."She introduces herself before smiling and taking a sip of her tea.

"James Wilson. It was kind of you to say that. Well, I must get going, the hospital needs me." Unconsciously, he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, a habit he reverts to when feeling uncomfortable. Taking the second cup of tea, he realizes that he felt uncomfortable not because of her presence, but because of the sudden want to stay and talk to her. Get to know her more, say something, anything just to see that smile of hers again.

She nods her head, her face showing perfect understanding. Waving slightly, she acknowledges his need to leave and proceeds to smile as he begins to walk towards the door.

Just before he exits out the door, he turns back and asks, "Will you be here tomorrow?"

She smiles and nods her head slightly, "It's black tea latte day tomorrow."

He smiles back at her and left.

That day, they both thought, "Tea really does chase away the blues."

The second time they met was at the same café.

The same café that sparked off the many dates soon to come after.


	3. Chance encounters and Love

Disclaimer: Characters belong to House MD, the storyline is purely my imagination.

_Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe love is out there, it will come. And even if it doesn't come straight away, there is still that chance all through your life that it will._

_- Josh Hartnett_

* * *

Saturday afternoons are really the worst times to travel. This is not the first time, and it probably would not be the last either. She holds on to the metal railing next to her albeit cautiously, trying hard not to think of who else could have left their mark there, or left some particular _stains_ behind. She grimaces as she sees a fellow standing in the far right corner who seems particularly interested in discovering the contents of his nose. It was almost a reflex action to let go of the railing and try to balance and not bump into anyone next to her. Quite a feat really, considering that she is currently sandwiched between a lady prone to flicking that hair of hers, which lands a sharp sting as it hits the faces of those near enough, and a teenager who looks like he's going to suffer from some sort of a neck sprain if he continues that bobbing of his head.

She refrains from sighing, and instead, tries to comfort herself that with just another fifteen minutes, she will be able to get off the train and be on her way to her destination. The music of the teenager continues to blast into her ears. She reminds herself, 'Fifteen more minutes…fifteen more minutes...'

She closes her eyes and continues her balancing act, and as she does so, a familiar train of thought surfaces. 'Wouldn't it be nice if there is someone, someone who is significant or is going to be significant in my life, here in the same train as me?'She thought, 'Like some sort of chance encounter, where two people meant to be with each other happen to be in the same place at the same time, but they don't really know of it?'An idealistic romantic at heart, her mind is prone to wander to such thoughts from time to time.

'What about like right here, right now?'As she feels the wind in the train compartment blow past her, she can feel the beginnings of a smile on her face.

* * *

'Seven more stops. Fifteen more minutes to go.' Today is not a good day for him. Having sent his car for repairs, he has no choice but to bear with the subway for his mode of transport to work. On a Saturday no less. Dressed in his usual brown coat, light-blue long sleeved shirt, and dark brown pants, he looks just like the rest of the people on board the train. It is just he feels a little claustrophobic all of a sudden, feeling cramped by the people around him. He can hardly make out the faces of the people around him for goodness' sake; they are all packed up like sardines against each other. Fiddling with his green tie, with which he had no idea why he made the extra effort to look nice, he tries to look around him and immediately regrets it after seeing a person digging his nose in the far left corner of the train compartment.

'I wonder is there any good that can come out of traveling in a crowded train on a Saturday afternoon?' He closes his eyes, and tries to block out the noise around him. 'Fifteen more minutes…'

* * *

After forty painful minutes, she finally reaches her destination for that day: Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Here for the first time to pick up her friend's meds on her behalf, she feels a little lost and she glances at the signs around hoping to find a sign that will point her to the pharmacy. Just as she is looking around and preparing to approach the counter for help, she feels someone brushing past her. She looks up only in time to see a man in a brown coat walking briskly away from her. Looking at the direction he is walking towards, she happens to notice the sign she has been looking for- directions to PPTH's Pharmacy. 'Maybe that person was sent to help me find the place I was looking for!'She realizes that something good can be found in something bad after all. It is just a matter of perspectives.

The queue at the pharmacy was long to say the least. It took her at least two hours before she got her turn and another hour to pick up the meds and to pay for them. Her friend better be grateful about this…

After three hours of visiting patients, scheduling and overseeing of treatments, Dr. James Wilson is ready to pack up and head straight for home. There hasn't been much to do at the hospital lately, and for once, he is glad for the rest.

* * *

Adjusting the bag-strap over his right shoulder, he walks out of the lift, and heads towards the glass doors. And for the second time that day, his shoulder brushes against another. Only this time round, he notices her. It was hard not to. With her messy brownish blonde hair, her colorful scarf, and that smile on her face, she is quite a remarkable sight. Not to mention, the light in her eyes as she immediately says "sorry" and looks up with a sheepish smile on her face.

He finds himself smiling back unconsciously, replying with an "it's alright." She smiles back at him again and extends her hand out for a proper introduction. "I'm not quite sure if we've met before, as you seem quite familiar…Anyway, I'm Allison."

"James Wilson. I am quite sure we have not met before, or at least we have not been properly introduced to each other as of yet. I work in this hospital actually…"He resists the urge to fiddle with his tie, instead choosing to focus on her next words.

"So I presume you're a doctor? Now that is interesting…Say, do you have time? I happen to know of this great diner just round the corner, and I am really famished and tired after a long day of traveling. Do you want to grab a bite together?"

"That sounds nice, a good dinner and rest is exactly what I had in mind. Shall we make a move then?" His warm smile squashes all hesitancy she may have felt earlier about proposing dinner with a stranger she has just met for a few minutes. A stranger she feels she has known for quite a while.

With that, they proceed to walk out of the hospital's compound, talking and laughing as though they have met before and as though this isn't their first time meeting each other.

In fact, unbeknownst to them, this is actually their third chance encounter. Moreover, who knows? There may have been more chance meetings between them before this Saturday's. And that is precisely why they are called _chance encounters_.

Then again, Richard Bach once said, "Nothing happens by chance, my friend...No such thing as luck. A meaning behind every little thing, and such a meaning behind this. Part for you, part for me, may not see it all real clear right now, but we will, before long."

This seems more like the case for this pair of people. Indeed, one can conclude, _nothing occurs by chance._


End file.
